I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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