I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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