D3 body, D1 cock
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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