good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
