just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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