But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
