just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
