He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
