At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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