Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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