We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
