Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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