Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
