hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
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