whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
