I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
