I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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