Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
