Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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