my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
