you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Let's get the cat blown out
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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