so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
