can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
