you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
