Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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