im drinking this country out of the recession.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
