During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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