p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
