Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
