It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I am available for nakedness
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
