My first STD was from a foam party
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
