So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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