do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
