think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
