i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i need some magic done to my vagina
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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