my vag is so smooth its legendary
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Couch. On fire.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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