Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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