What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
