Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
