The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
