I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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