I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
