yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
