question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
