Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
