I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
