ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
