dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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