it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
