ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
