We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
