discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
my being single is dangerous.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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