I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You can't just leave with hair like that
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
