So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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